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You tell me... OK, fine, be that way! When I think of a description, I'll type it here. Or maybe here ---> x But probably not there | | | V |
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wICQ Status: |
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Needed to Complete My |
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wTuesday, June 29, 2004 | |
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Well, my sister just emailed me and said she has a regular cold. Everyone is sick and the tour director says that's normal for the end of the trip. I'm supposed to tell my mom she can't call home tomorrow because there are no pay phones where she is. Apparently my father was going to stay downstairs tonight because my mother can't sleep. But when I went up there, she was asleep so now he's going up there and I'm supposed to turn the lights out. He must not realize that I'm always up this late. posted by Jenny on 6/29/2004 11:58:00 PM |
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A rare occasion... I actually remember what I couldn't remember about yesterday! For the first time I went to the source of all evil, Petco. After reading a bunch of websites I've diagnosed my red fish as having every fish disease out there. I'm not really sure what it is, but he's sick, that's for sure. I went to Petco to get some medicine for the water and some new gravel. You'd think a pet store larger than a supermarket would sell more than one kind of gravel, but they didn't. I looked in every hamster/guinea pig cage. They all had toys and food in them, but no animals. And I looked really hard into a couple of them trying to find anything, but no. I suppose that's both good and bad. On the one hand they're not torturing any poor rodents through neglect or whatever it is they do to them there, but on the other, they probably sold out and are just going to stock more in the future. It was pretty gross in the store, dirty for sure. This girl had her dog in there. She took half of the toys out of a bin and let her dog chew on them before she picked one. Then a worker petted her dog and put the rest back. Granted I've never had a dog, but I wouldn't want it putting toys some random dog has licked in it's mouth and then licking me or something. Eew. The whole store was just generally dirty and smelled like a pet store, which you'd think it might not because it's ten times the size and hardly has any animals. I had to wait 15 minutes "in line" behind a guy standing there with his checkbook out trying to pay for having his dog groomed. I think it was a Jack Russell Terrier. I do know it was loud and pretty high strung. One of his kids picked up the dog and slung it over his shoulders. He then became covered in white dog hair, the back of his own head looked like an old man. Is a dog that has just been groomed supposed to shed that much? The stuff I needed was $11.99 for a fraction of an ounce. Instead I bought aquarium salt and a diease preventing water additive. I meant to go to Petsmart (also for the first time) to see what they had, but I had some drama instead. My sister emailed from Europe and said she needed her insurance policy number or it would cost her 40 euros to see the doctor tomorrow. Also, she wanted to me to find some stuff out about school. I couldn't find the copies that she left my mom of the insurance policy. My mom told me that my sister left the original policy at home and she had it somewhere. She wouldn't tell me where unless I told her what she was seeing the doctor for. Since I didn't actually know I couldn't do that. Instead I had to find the xerox only to discover that it was a horrible copy and could hardly be read. I figured it out and emailed her the info. Enter my mother again, who decided to call me back and try to shake me down for the info. I told her that had she helped me out when I called I could have emailed her back before her minutes ran out at the internet cafe, but no, she had to be an idiot. I asked my mom to give me the number to leave a voicemail on her international calling card account. She gives me the number and the account, and then insists on telling me the instructions on how to leave the message. Mind you this is my mother who has never successfully pages anyone because she doesn't understand how the pound key comes into play. She couldn't remember if you push star or "the other one". It was really getting on my nerves, so I finally just asked if there are instructions when you call. Of course there are, so finally it clicked that star or pound didn't matter. I go to make the call and discover that you need a pin number. All that time going on about the star key and she didn't even mention the pin number! I call my mom back, who now wants to go around about whether or not she emailed me or im-ed me, and how I knew she was online. For the record, she emailed me, I heard the email come through on aol and read it right away, it was the pound key. Eventually I got the pin number out of her and I left a voicemail with all the info in case she doesn't check her email. Later that day I told my mom that no one appreciates anything I do for them. She didn't know what I was talking about and said she didn't think I had really done anything today. But for the record, this whole thing took over an hour to sort out. posted by Jenny on 6/29/2004 05:36:00 PM |
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Yesterday I completely forgot about going to therapy. It's funny, because I knew I had to go in the early afternoon, so I went looking for things to occupy the time before I had to leave and ended up not noticing the time until 13 minutes into my appointment. Right away I called and told her that my mom didn't come home from work and didn't leave a check, so would it be alright if I came for the rest of my appointment and paid her double next week. In the back of my mind I was hoping she'd say I could come an hour late. But all she said was, "Well, you are going to have to find a way to pay for this whether you come or not." When I got there she didn't even answer her door because, as I discovered when we went into her office, she was online. I've been thinking about bringing up the idea of going every other week now. She even told me a month ago that it's wrong of her to take anymore of my parents money since we're not working towards anything. Now I think I should wait a few weeks on that, because she thinks that I forgot because I was avoiding something. Whatever. There might have been something else that happened yesterday that I meant to write about, but as is usually the case, I forgot. I got a postcard from Vatican City with a picture of a guy posing as the pope on it. Fake PJP didn't really impress me. I think that for awhile I want to post a picture every day. If I don't do it every day, every post will have a picture. Or at the very least, if I make a long post it will be followed by a short post with a picture. This is because I take lots of pictures of random stuff and then I don't put it in a post and it's no longer "timely". Once I get some of the stuff up I'll try to post stuff as it happens. I think I will make a little template in blogger that put img src in all my entries to help me if I forget. 
Egg yolks ready to be whisked up. Tune in tomorrow to find out what happened to them. posted by Jenny on 6/29/2004 11:23:00 AM |
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wMonday, June 28, 2004 | |
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The invitation didn't mention gunplay. On Saturday I went to a party. Shortly after one of the hosts took out his gun and shot it into the ceiling to break up a verbal fight between his wife and one of his drunk/creepy friends. I left by hopping 2 fences. The first one was really hard. Partly because I was wearing flip flops, but mostly because I'm fat. I haven't had to hop a fence in 10 years! On the way home my friend was freaking out in the car. I teased her asking if that was her first L.A. shooting. She was worried that her mom would find out. But I reassured her by telling her that I've lived here my whole life and that was my first too. Last night I went to see Napoleon Dynamite. I got there super early because I didn't want my friends to wait and I thought there'd be horrible traffic. Also that the movie might sell out. I sat around outside a coffee place and played my Gameboy for at least a half hour. Did I mention that I bought a Nintendo GameBoy Advance SP Classic? It is so cool. And only $88 at Fry's! I didn't expect them to show up less than 5 minutes before the movie started. Consequently I ended up standing in front of the theater for 45 minutes, 40 of which I was surround by total idiots. I used to go see lots of non-mainstream movies when I'd get invited to them for free. I like to think that I seek out things that most people don't care about until it gets a bunch of media attention. And subtitles alone are not a reason to pass on a film. But I was never a movie snob. The theater was also screening some lame looking movie both before and at the same time as the show I was seeing. So I stood there while the place emptied out and refilled with rude, obnoxious blow hards. Oh, and the writer/director/star was there too. It was sort of frustrating to listen to people talk out of their ass about a crap movie, but that paled in comparison to the people who walking out wearing free t-shirts and carrying free dvd's got in my face screaming that I needed to see this movie. Naturally I ignored them, so the token wannabe punk chick of the group started jumping up and down pushing down on my shoulder. Good god, grow up. I think if I were some snotty writer/director star pretending to be disaffected and I saw my fans doing that (he was about 4 feet away at the time) I'd go over and applaud someone who was going to see another movie and promote other writers, directors and actors. Anyway, wannabe smart people suck. posted by Jenny on 6/28/2004 10:17:00 PM |
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wSaturday, June 26, 2004 | |
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Week (and a half or so) in Review. This is going to be quite long. You ready? Last Thursday I went to the bar that I had been avoiding since April. There was the skinny, short, weird little white guy who dressed up like Michael Jackson after he got there. He had on black pants that his mom had obviously made, a red and black leatheresque Thrilleresque jacket and a wig in the style he wore at the end of the Black or White video (when he trashes the car) and a fedora. He gets on stage to do Thriller, but instead of singing just does some odd dancing that came about long after the Thriller video. Thriller is an awfully long song to just watch someone dance to. The dance floor was totally packed because they refused to removed a triple table party. It was about 1/3 to 1/4 it's usual size, at best. It was fine when no one else was out there, but we had to leave because all that was happening was us being squished and rubbed up on. I don't really understand the thrill people get in rubbing their naughty bits on someone who's just trying to get out of a crowd or stand there and watch someone sing. Also, the huge party just left their money on the table and took off. I felt bad enough for the waiter that they kept ordering things one at a time and he had to push through a couple hundred people to get to them. But then someone grabbed the money and he didn't get paid for any of it. Granted the guy was kind of a jerk to me on my birthday, but they still should have gone to the register and paid their bill, even if they didn't tip. My parents left for Napa early Friday morning. I didn't have to be at work until 9:30, but that didn't stop them from waking me up at 5:45 am. We had a Jewish Day School field trip at the show. They agreed to stay until 5:30 pm and then got up at 5:00 and demanded to leave because it was Shabbat and they had to drive to their hotel. No one wanted to touch the situation, but I told them they couldn't leave. I knew that it doesn't get dark here until after 7:00. Plus, we turned other people away for them because they begged to be let in and agreed to stay until 5:30 when they booked and when we let them in. In the end I asked them to stay until 5:15. When they left the studio they spent 25 minutes in the lobby yelling and disrupting the show until they were asked to leave. On Saturday I left the house for 20 minutes to go to the market. My sister called twice from France. She didn't know that my parents were out of town, so she left 2 messages at home and called all of our cell phones. Here's a tip, if you're making an international call on a pre-paid calling card, and no one picks up after 3 rings, hang up! She sounded like she had been crying, so I asked her if she was tired or sick until she admitted that she was annoyed with her friend. Said she had waited up until 2am to call after the friend was asleep. I just told her if she was at home she'd be annoyed at her too. She agreed and said that at home she'd be able to spend time away from her. My parents called home because they thought the Private Number on their cell phone was me. They wanted to know why I didn't talk to her more. Hmm, I took 5 years of French in middle and high school. I majored in European History in college. Yea, I don't want to talk to people in France who aren't me. On Monday I went to dinner with my asshole uncle. He paid, and I said thank you. My mom and my aunt were allowed to take anything they wanted from their aunt's condo (my great aunt who died in February). Naturally everything of value had already been removed. Still, they left no stone unturned. It was pretty sad to watch. My mother took everything Luccite that wasn't nailed down. Trash cans, kleenex holders, TV trays, folding chairs. It's a little scary. I took an unopened Christmas gift box of Seagram's 7 which I wrapped up and gave to a friend. Also, my therapist thinks that I should go back on Lexapro. I think I'm hesitant because I've been through the withdrawal now and if I go back on it will eventually go through that again. While there are some benefits to being on it, I don't feel like the problems come up on a daily basis any more. She thinks that if I were on it I would realize how much better things could be all the time. I'm thinking about it. Something happened on Sunday night that stayed on my mind for a few days. I will get to that at the bottom of this entry because it's going to be really, really long. Otherwise the first half of the week passed without incident. On Wednesday I called my boss and told her I was going to come in for my final exit interview and to turn in my uniform on Friday. Later that day in the mail I got a letter saying I was laid-off effective May 1, 2003. Makes me wonder if I've worked in the last year at all... Later that night I was online when the pb's crazy ex made a derrogatory comment about me being Jewish. When she repeated it (claiming that my mother didn't raise me to be a good Jew because I don't fall into a certain stereotype) I told her that my mother raised me not to obey the stereotypes placed upon me by closed minded Christians. I thought I might have put her in her place suffciently because she was quiet for a good 8 minutes (yet another miracle brought forth by a Jewish woman). Unfortunately she dedided to strike back by calling me a 4-legged animal. I had one friend ready to give her the verbal ass whipping of her life. When I told the pb about it he said one thing didn't have to do with the other. I told him that I didn't think so either, but with anti-Semitism it appears that the 2 things are related, and then they become related to other people. I really thought that she probably called me an animal because I had quickly and easily put her down. He told me that it should be obvious to everyone that the problem is with her, and not me. I didn't take it personally, I was offended at what she was implying about Jewish people. I told him it was easy for him as a white, Christian male. Flashforward to Thursday night when she's at it again. She starts trying to talk to me saying some stuff about the pb like I don't know him at all. I ignored her at first, but she acted like I had responded to her. So finally I make 2 quick statements. First I said that what she was saying wasn't totally true. Then I turned it around like it was a compliment towards him, not a masked insult. This time the pb was around to see the whole exchange. Apparently, I found out later, she decided to pick I fight with him about the whole situation. As is usually the case, when it was over, he tries to pick a fight with me. Again, as per usual it comes out that this started as a fight between the two of them. I really do still like the pb as a friend. To a certain extent I wish the circumstances existed where there could be a little more. But at the same time I don't want much more from him, and I recognize what I would lose in his friendship by wanting anything but that. So now my mind is in overdrive trying not to react like I usually do in this situation. There was some back and forth. He tried to tell me that everything was ok because she was going out of town for 3 weeks. I informed him that that is no excuse to hurl an insult at me like she did. He started bombarding me with stuff, determined to have something out with someone. Instead I told him that I was going out and we'd talk about something else tomorrow. The end result was I went out and had fun, and he emailed me this morning to apologize saying that I was right and ethnic humor is always crass. I was happy at how I didn't let it escalate into a blown out fight. I was pleasantly surprised that he apologized to me, since I have always been the one to apologize first. So now to Thursday night at the bar. It is very unlike me to go out two Thursdays in a row, especially of late. I im-ed my boss to ask if she was going and she said no. So I took up the opportunity. Mini-Michael Jackson was there. He walked by the stage just as my friend was getting up there to sing "Thriller". About 1/3 of the way through the song Mini-Michael realized what was going on. He pushed his way over to the front of the stage where we were all cheering. Naturally to avoid this freak we made a horseshoe around him. At the instrumental part of the song my friend throws down his microphone and does the whole Thriller dance. But he didn't just do the dance, he did the whole thing with a face completely devoid of expression and the choppy whiteboy movements. It was fantastic. We were all screaming, cheering, laughing, screaming some more, jumping up and down, grabbing and groping at each other because we didn't know how to contain the excitement. I yelled so loud I went hoarse from my vocal chords smacking together. At least 100 people in the bar rushed the stage to cheer him on. The karaoke hostess even pushed her way back on stage because she loved it so much. It wasn't until about half way through the dance that Mini-Michael realized that none of the cheers were for him. When it was over my friend got off stage and Mini-Michael promptly grabbed him by the ear. He was mad that his song was stolen, and apparently had a few choice words to say about it. Meanwhile, we were all being bombarded by people who were trying to congratulate him. He didn't get to hear any of it because Mini-Michael still had him. For the rest of the night Mini-Michael sulked around us and gave us all the evil eye. Afterwards we had to buy our friend a giant drink because he had stayed totally sober afraid that he's crack a smile while dancing if he had a drink. Also, he told us that when he got home after last week he started watching the video over and over to learn the dance. It was great. Everything that happened during the performance and after. I'm so glad that I went, I had the best time that I've ever had there. I'm thinking about retiring that bar from my rotation. Friday I went into work for my final review/exit interview. I already gave that it's own post. All in all I'm happy that I left when I did. This morning my sister called from Vienna and said, "I didn't buy you anything in France or Italy, you probably would have liked something, right?" Like she's going to go back and get it. She told my mom the same thing (about me, not my mom) and she agreed with me. I've been debating whether or not I want to go to a party tonight with friends from work. Ever since I was invited a month ago I've leaned towards no. Since I quit I've thought about how stagnant most of these people really are. Even the people who have started working here since I started have fallen into a pattern. There are other people who have really gone places, but they're not around so much anymore. Since I got this job I've gone through a bad bout of depression. I've made lots of new friends and become quite a bit more social. I had my internship and I sought out and succeeded at my short temp job. This was such a good time for me to leave because otherwise I'd be in danger of losing what little momentum I have left from these changes. I think I will go to that party though. I can carpool with a friend who has also successfully moved on from this job. Now back to what was on my mind for the beginning of the week. On Sunday night I got an email from a friend of mine who is a recovered alcoholic. Unfortunately his addiction has turned itself to gambling in recent years. He recognizes that he gambles to feel a part of the group at the casino and because he thinks he'll do well and ease his financial troubles. I don't understand how one can admit to those things but not eventually take the next step and admit to being an addict. Those are 2 classic signs right there. Well, Sunday night out of the blue I get this mass email to his friends and family saying that he was sending it out to people he owed money or people he talks to about this. I certainly would never lend him money, and I find it ironic that I had just within the last 2 days told the pb that we rarely talk anymore, and I find that I'm ok with that. In the aftermath I've been wondering what he considers talking. I do vaguely recall about 10 days before a mention about a pay day loan. Maybe I was supposed to press him on that. I hate it that I rethink things like that. The gist of the email was that he was going to be in a tough financial situation but everyone would get paid back. He said that it looked like he was going to have to give up AOL and that it was an important avenue of communication to us email getters, but there may be no choice. In this 800 word email he twice made vague references to gambling. I closed it without even reading the second half. At first I was angry. The pb told me not to be angry because it doesn't help me to be angry about his problems. The more I thought about it, I thought about how I can't help people who can't help themselves. I decided that if I wash my hands of the situation I will feel better. So far I do. On Monday during the day I saw him online. Meaning he didn't even go to work after spilling out his financial woes just hours before. Normally I would have said something. But instead I told myself that I can't make choices for other people. I felt even better about my decision. I have since talked some with a mutual friend. I told her that I felt like everything about the letter was pure manipulation. The timing of when it was sent (late Sunday night after people had gone to bed). The fact that it didn't mention gambling but it was obvious he had lost his shirt yet again in the casino. This goes back to not being able to help oneself, I think. Sending a long, self-depreciating email doesn't in anyway relieve you from admitting your own actions. Yet he is looking for absolution without even admit he was in the casino. He said he was going to give up AOL to make us all say, "Oh, don't, we'll miss you too much." Well I can't say that if I don't think I'll miss any of this. If one owes money to friends, one needs to give up AOL, cable and eat ramen until one can give something back to friends. Not quit taking prescribed medications and stop going to work to avoid the problems. Maybe the first step is to give the friends who are owed money some good faith money or even a good faith gesture, like joining Gambler's Anonymous. I know it's not really my place to say, since I would never loan someone with a gambling problem (past or current) money. But instead what he did was make himself out to be so pathetic that we would all pity him and tell him it's all not true. I happen to think it is true, both what (I read of) the email said and didn't say. Whereas I wouldn't tell a friend so many blunt truths about themselves out of the blue (well, maybe, if the truth would help I would tell some of them) I'm not going to deny it when they say it themselves. When I told the mutual friend that I felt it was a manipulation more than an admission, she agreed with me that the whole thing was very manipulative. In the end I can say that I'm still a little angry about the manipulation, but I feel good that I've stayed out of it otherwise. posted by Jenny on 6/26/2004 05:36:00 PM |
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wFriday, June 25, 2004 | |
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Woohoo! I quit my crappy job today. Turned in my uniform and got my exit interview. As soon as I get my deposit back, I'll be off their books forever! Every time I go to the lower lot at Universal I get stuck behind the tram sooner and sooner. Last time I was directly behind it so I just rolled down my windows and listened. The tour guides sure sound bored. Most of the people on board look half dead, but there's always the one guy who's videotaping the entire thing. Today I was in a pile up, but eventually all the cars in front of me turned. I was seriously contemplating a "Defending Your Life" moment where I run out of my car and try to hop in the tram over the safe doors. It moves slow enough, I think I could get in before the tour guide notices and security drags me away. But instead I parked my car in the assigned spot security gave me and went inside. This year we didn't have reviews. And instead of having supervisors evaluate pages, we got to evaluate the supervisors. I was the last person to schedule an interview, so I only got to pick from 5 people. I hadn't even worked with 3 of them. Suffice it to say, I had to review a friend of mine. He's a good friend and fun to work with, but I've realized how badly he failed me as a supervisor. I said all the nice things I could think of, but in the end I had to do the same thing I would have for the other people, and that was tell the truth. The other person I gave a really good review for because she was a really good supervior who respected us and made sure we had the breaks we're leagally entitled to. It's odd, but I feel like I stood up for myself by telling my boss that working makes me feel like less of a person because I get treated so poorly, so I'd rather be unemployed than take further hits to my self esteem (what little I have of it, that is.) All that makes me is an unemployed, college drop-out living with my parents, but I feel really good about it right now. posted by Jenny on 6/25/2004 12:51:00 PM |
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wThursday, June 17, 2004 | |
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Watch me start every sentence with "I" I can't believe I'm about to trackback to this post... I read this and it completely summed up how I felt yesterday. I had only been working an hour when they stopped traffic at the intersection down the block for the torch to run by. My first instinct was to throw down, give up on work and go stand on the sidewalk to watch it. My parents took me to see the torch relay in 1984. I was 5 1/2, my sister was almost 18 mos. I remember how exciting they made it. I loved that I got to stay up late that night and that we left the baby at home. But also I thought I was seeing something totally amazing because my parents made it seem like that. My dad's weird cousin and his boring wife came to stay with us and slept in my room. I had to sleep on a hassock at the foot of my parents bed. I loved that too because I was closer to them than the baby. We went to see both the women's and men's marathons when they routes came by our house. I remember waiting all day on the sidewalk playing with my friends for that moment when the first runner's appeared. I wore so many pins on my shirt that the neckline was half way down my chest and I waved both my olympic flag and my L.A. '84 flag so hard, for all the runners. Yesterday I stood there trying to stretch and strain to catch a glimpse of the torch running by ( my supervisor sent me inside before it came by). That first hour of working was pretty terrible, but really what made me want to run down to the corner was the romantic notion that I could be as excited as I was for all this stuff 20 years ago. I even thought about trying to go to the Dodger game after work with my dad, but we both worked to late. Plus, I didn't really understand how the torch would be there on time or what would really happen. The next time it comes through town I'm going to try to go see it again. I can't believe I was so close this time and missed it. posted by Jenny on 6/17/2004 08:27:00 PM |
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wWednesday, June 16, 2004 | |
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Alright, so I'm working on this kids show today. Before we started someone asked every parent if their kid was 8 (minimum age) and I explained that the kids and parents will sit separately. So we split them up, left the kids alone and babysat the parents (haha, but yea, sort of...) This guy tells me that his son needs to use the restroom. I go over and I ask every row if any kids need the restroom. the guy tells me that I didn't ask his son specifically. Now, I don't want to embarass this kid, plus I assumed he'd take the opportunity when it was offered. Nonetheless I go over and ask him, he says no. The dad then demands that someone else help him. So another girl goes and asks his son while I say to him, "You know, by 8 years old they really know when they have to go to the bathroom for themselves." To which he replys, "Well my son is only 6!" posted by Jenny on 6/16/2004 06:52:00 PM |
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wSunday, June 13, 2004 | |
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My sister has owed me $35 for over a year. My mom says that if I wasn't a fucking bitch I'd wait until she gets back from Europe to collect it. I asked her, "Don't you think I could have used that money at least once during the last year?" To which she replied, "No, because you're a loser and you'll never leave this house." About 10 months ago she told my sister not to pay me back. She told me she was staying out of it. I argued that she wasn't staying out of, but in fact taking my sister's side. That she didn't have the right to cancel the debt, and that my parents should pay me the money because it was owed to me, my mom telling my sister not to pay didn't mean it wasn't still owed to me, and they raised her to be so irresponsible, so maybe they should be responsible for her. I then fillibuster the computer for 6 days. I stayed up all night until I was sure they were asleep, and then I got up in the middle of the night to get on it again. Finally on the 6th day my dad wanted to check his email and he told my mom he had to make my sister pay. My sister told my mom she paid me back, but didn't. I knew she told her that so I brought it up with my mom, again, that she owes me money. The two of them tell me that I didn't tell my sister I loved her when she asked me to, so why should she pay me back. I tell them that when you owe someone money you owe it to them whether they're nice to you or not. I just kept talking for 2 hours while they were trying to pack about the money until she finally gave me a check. She said that there have been times over the past year when she had $35 in her wallet and I never asked for it. Like it's my job to remember to ask for the money all the time. What about all the times I did ask for the money and she broke out in tears and ran to my mom? Then my aunt came over and tried to get me to grovel for $100 again. I told my mom that I know I'm right and I shouldn't have to thank someone for not getting me what they said they would for my birthday. That got them both screaming, but I still think I'm right. This morning my mom corners me to tell me that she promised to buy me a case for my camera since she bought my sister and memory stick and a case for hers. She tells me that if I don't ask her for the things she promises I'll never get them. I tell her I did ask twice, but she said she didn't have the money. She tells me that I should have asked before she spent another $70 on another memory stick for my sister. (The 2 times I did ask were before that, how was I supposed to know she was leaving the house one day to make that impulse buy?) She says she supposes I now expect 2 accessories for my camera, and I'll have to ask to get them, otherwise she'll forget. I told her that if she made my sister pay for her own memory stick she'd only owe me 1. She tells me that if I asked for more things I'd get them, and when we get home she'll order something for me from Amazon. When we got home she told me, "Not now, I have to help her pack." I asked for her credit card and she said, "We can't afford it now, maybe for Hanukkah." So much for the asking/getting plan. By the way, this is the case that we can't afford. posted by Jenny on 6/13/2004 12:44:00 PM |
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wSaturday, June 12, 2004 | |
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My sister booked herself on a tour of Europe. After she paid her travel agent for everything she had no spending money or money to buy anything for the trip left. So far my parents have bailed her out to the tune of $1700. I know it's $1700 because that's the number my mother keeps shouting at me. The other day I asked her if I could have a new pair of sandals this summer. She flipped out and started screaming at me that we're not going to have any money this summer because they've spent $1700 on my sister. Yesterday I got the same response when I asked her to buy me maxi-pads the next time she's at the market. So today we're signing a Father's Day card for my dad (my sister will be in Europe, my parents will be in Napa and I'll be here watching the house). I tell my sister she should write in it, "can I borrow $1700?" My mom starts yelling at me saying they haven't spent anywhere near $1700 on her, and I don't know what I'm talking about. Ahhhh! What the fuck is my mom playing at here? Going back even further, my dad told my sister that we were each getting $1000 from the money he inherited from his mother. My sister already got her $1000, that's part of the $1700. He never said anything to me, though. Then my parents cook up this scheme where they tell me over and over again that I need to take a trip alone somewhere this summer. I tell them that if I had the money I would. They keep trying, so I finally tell them that if they give me the money for a plane ticket, I'll find someone to stay with for a few days. Now you'd think if they were really giving me $1000 they would have said something by now. After a few weeks of not getting anywhere with the hint dropping I come out and ask my mom if I'm going to get any money ever to help me out with my car situation (I need a new one). She goes off on me yelling about how I just expect money from them and if I had a full time job I could afford my own car. Let's not again bring up the fact that I put $2500 down on the car I have now, and my sister put down $0 and still owes my parents $1000 for the car she's had for 2 1/2 years. But then the next day we're all in the car going to dinner and the money issue comes up again. My dad tells me that he told my mom to tell me that I was getting $1000. Now it's a month later and my mother has just announced in front of my sister that my parents haven't given her anywhere near $1700. Well about 20 minutes later she pulled me aside and told me that my parents have spent too much money on this trip to Europe and I won't get my $1000 until the end of the summer. Basically I know I'll never see the money because at the end of the summer there will be another excuse. Then my aunt comes over and my mother announces that I'm jealous because I'm not going to Paris like my sister. My aunt (who tells me she has bought/given my sister $350 in stuff/cash) reminds my mom that she never put any money in for the digital camera I got for my birthday. My mom tells me had she known ahead of time she wasn't getting $100 from my aunt I never would have gotten the camera. Whatever, it's mine now. So my aunt tells me, "If you say thank you that I never paid them and mean it I'll give you $100 later this month." I tell her, "Well, I'm not going to thank you for forgetting my birthday." They both go off and start calling me an ungrateful little bitch and saying I just expect to get birthday presents just because they buy them for my sister. Now it's my mother who always says everything asks to be equal. I don't even ask her to take me shopping for clothes anymore unless I'm desperate because I always end up trying on more stuff for my sister than myself. If I like a shirt I always have to pick a color for her. If I like a sweater she always tells me I have to give up the color I want because it will look better on her. I can't ever get anything without her getting the same. Before we go shopping I'll always tell my mom that I don't like it when the first thing we do in the store is look for stuff for my sister because if she wanted clothes she could have come with us. But when we get into the store my mom starts telling me that everything I pick would look better on her. She tells me things have to be equal, then my sister gets lots of stuff for her birthday and when mine comes around 1 week later I get berated for expecting gifts. Not even comparable ones. My whole life whenever my mom has paid for something like new glasses or soccer cleats she's made me feel guilty about it. She tells me that my sister gets more because they spend more on me to go to doctors. As if I wanted to be sick or injured all the time. Meanwhile my parents rob my savings account blind for things like summer camp or my trip to Israel or my car or college and they just pay for those things for her and don't ask for any money. Then they tell me what a financial burden it puts on them that my sister isn't as responsible with her money as I am. Which I don't understand at all, because even though she does spend a lot more, she hordes what she has. And when you take out all the money I put out for things that in turn give her for free, she has so much more than I do. And in turn I end up feeling guilty that they give her so much money. posted by Jenny on 6/12/2004 02:18:00 PM |
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